#dissertation layout

[youcanstayhere]

[akitauma]

SAME

"back on my bullshit" in reference to recurring hyperinterests dating back to middle school and beyond

[mpchev]

Update on fanbinding dissertation: binding the dissertation itself!

After many days and nights of writing and wrangling footnotes and proofreading (where I couldn't convince my laptop that yes, I meant textualisation, not sexualisation), 'twas time to bind the beasts! In three copies, no less! Which I approached with way too much confidence from my one fanbind experience, and came with many fun little surprises due to the format guidelines I had to follow 🤡

This is going to be a long one, so here's my happy unfocused mug to confirm that it all ends well:

First pickle: The typesetting. I absolutely loved typesetting fanfic, but the dissertation had to be A4 (way less fun, boo-hoo), one-sided, with every page numbered. Did you know that LibreOffice won't let you add blank pages and only number the non-blank ones, without skipping numbers? In order to print signatures I could fold into one-sided pages, only numbered on the right-hand pages, I ended up switching to landscape orientation and including the equivalent of a blank page in the left margin.

Second pickle: The imposing, which I couldn't figure out using the amazing bookbinder with my weird landscape 2-page layout. I finally gave in and rearranged all the pages manually, which looked like p. 1 on the recto / p. 10 on the verso, then p2/p9, p3/p8, p4/p7, p5/p8, p6/p7. And because there was no way I was paying print-in-colour prices for all of this, I further split the manually imposed pages into two files, one for the greyscale printer (cheaper) and one for the colour printer (highway robbery). Still came up to ~£70, just for printing.

Very glad I went in chunks of 10 for the signatures, it made both the math and the folding using sheets from two different piles much easier, highly recommend (if for some absurd reason you also want to bind one-sided numbered pages in folded signatures).

Third pickle: Linear time. Had planned on having so much time to print and bind this thing, but kept writing and rewriting and proofing and oops! It was due in less than 24 hours and it was still not out of the laptop. So.

22/09/24, 6pm: Got to the library, started printing.

6.45pm: Found another printer where all the paper was the same shade of white, started printing again 🤦‍♂️ (kept the the misprints to use as scrap paper when glueing)

7.30pm: Started folding the 150 sheets of paper (3 x 100-page dissertation, 2 pages per sheet). Went from the last episode of The Magnus Protocol, to an episode of Welcome to Night Vale, to deciding restart The Magnus Archive, which felt almost poetic.

9pm: Headed back home, trimmed the edges (with a borrowed guillotine), folded the endpapers, stabbed everything. Lack of pictures to be blamed on my inability to mess with linear time, and the eventual sleep deprivation.

10.30pm, I think? Started sewing the signatures together, again with Supernatural (which I started rewatching when I submitted my first dissertation assignment in mid-May, and finished 2 days after submitting the dissertation itself, again, such poetry).

2am, probably? Tipped the endpapers and glued cheesecloth over the spines. Somehow figured out where to set the three textblocks to dry (I don't have a press). Sadly gave up on sewing on (or glueing) headbands, because time.

3am-ish: Cut the missing cover pieces out of millboard (had already cut 4 of 6 covers, since I knew it had to be A4), measured the spines of the three textblocks and cut those as well.

???am: Did some math, because sure, that's the right time for that. Cut the bookcloth to size, glued the cover pieces on the bookcloth. Remarkably only messed up the measurements on one of them! That means one of the copies has a millimetre of millboard showing in the inside corners of the back cover, but not enough time/bookcloth/millboard to redo it, onward we go!

Way past dawn: Took a break for food while the covers somewhat dried. Cased the three textblocks in the three covers, with the endpapers bubbling, which took me by surprise since it was the same paper and same glue I had used for the fanbind without any problem. I'm now thinking that bigger book = more time needed to apply the glue = endpapers getting warped, but I was so exhausted by this point that who knows. Again, no time to redo it!

9.30am: Stacked the dissertations under the heavy reference books I used to write the dissertation. Toute est dans toute hein. Went to bed while they (mostly) dried.

2.30pm: Woken up by my neighbour's dj set. Eventually put all that hard work in a tote and walked to school to hand it in at 4.30pm.

Fourth and last pickle: The titling. Couldn't find paper long enough to do a half-dust jacket like I did last time. Had big cutout plans, ran out of time and couldn't finish testing those. Also had some thicker textured paper I thought of cutting and glueing to the cover as a title card, but it turned out too thin and was warping. Finally resigned myself to submitting it with a blank cover, but one of my teachers asked if I would mind adding the title on with metallic markers to make it easier to identify (one copy will eventually be on the shelf at the Institute), and I'm SO HAPPY with how it turned out. Metallic markers. Why didn't I think of that. (I did, however, think about dressing appropriately for the occasion.)

So, is it possible to print and bind 3 books in less than 24 hours? Yes! Am I glad I did it? Also yes, very satisfying, love being extra! Would I do it again? God no, I've been sleeping for two weeks and I still haven't recovered. Can't wait to start binding something else though, so I guess it wasn't that bad.

That's it! That's over! Aaaaaah! Now waiting for the grade and comments, and hopefully soon I'll be able to share the content as well.

I'll also try to post some more about the research/writing process itself, somewhere between the late nights reading international treaties on income tax and the early mornings spent figuring out how to apply for a phd next.

Thank you so much to everyone who followed along, this was way more fun than I ever could have hoped!

[snail-day]

I should be writing my dissertation but....

Nanami is the kind to just speak of his plans for the future while he is fucking his darling,

to debate his favourite baby names aloud as he spreads her legs. To talk about the countryside house with a garden big enough for a vegetable plot and a little pond as his fingers draw out another orgasam over and over. That this current apartment is just temporary until you two finally have a child who needs all the extra room, planning out what colour lecreuset's will decorate the kitchen drawers and which kitchen aid appliances she will get the most use of as he rails into her.

Kissing her afterwards with a sigh as he fixes the gag muffling her swears and cries, he just needs to train more before she's perfect and domesticated

🪻

Sayyyyy less more anon

Tw: Overstimulation, Kidnapped reader, Mentions of breeding

This fits too well for both Nanami and Geto. Except their both delusional in their own way <3 silly guys.

Geto who whispers threats like he's reading his vows to you. Tells you what’ll happen if you run again, all while stroking your tear stricken cheek, slow and soft. “You think I’d ever let you leave?” he laughs against your lips, pressing into you, as his cock brushes against your cervix one more time. Ensuring you can still feel the sting from the thirty to fifty spankings you received earlier.

Nanami is something else entirely. (Wouldn't be my second or first choice to end up with)

Nanami fucks you like he’s securing your future together. Like every harsh, mean thrust is a nail in the home he's building for you in the country side. Spreads your legs wide, gaze narrowed onto the gag (wishes he could take it off without you biting him so harshly), and talks, so calmly, about the future he’s already decided on.

“You’ll need to stop this attitude once the first one comes,” he says, voice even as his cock presses cruelly into your cervix. “I’ll plant your favorite along the fence line. You'd like that wouldn't you?”

You sob something incoherent, but it doesn’t matter. He presses a hand over your belly, possessive. Not much reassuring. “You’ll love it there. Quiet. Isolated. Perfect for raising children. Perfect for keeping you safe.”

And when he makes you come - again, and again - he keeps going. His tone doesn't falter as he discusses baby names, house layouts, and how many drawers he’ll need for your favorite Le Creuset pieces. You’re crying, overstimulated, wrists bound and gag soaked through. But he just hums softly, kisses your temple. “You're so emotional these days. Must be the hormones.”

(And oh, of course he wants home births. In the master bedroom, sunlight streaming through gauzy curtains. He’ll hold your hand through the contractions, murmur encouragement between contractions, wipe sweat from your brow and tell you how beautiful you look. So brave. So obedient.)

Afterward, he wipes you down carefully. Fixes the gag, brushing a kiss to your forehead as if you weren’t begging for mercy just moments ago. “You’ll learn,” he promises softly. “You’re not quite ready yet. But you’re mine. And I’ll train you until you are.”

Nanami Kento is one patient bastard. He’s waited this long for you. He’ll wait a little longer for the version of you he’s cultivating, his quiet, pregnant housewife, docile and full of love and his children. Even if he has to break you apart to make it happen.

[garniers]

MOONFLOWER: WRITERBLR PACK

[ live preview ] ♡ [ get on payhip ] From the moment I understood their concepts, reading, writing, and everything related to literature has been an important part of my life. While I've centered my online presence around graphic and web design I discovered those online spaces thanks to literature. And while I've favored working over writing—which is unfortunately very relatable—in my time as a spectator, I've had the opportunity to get acquainted with Writerblr and their incredible community members. From this experience, I fell completely in love with how Writerblr members curate their blogs and communicate their projects to their followers, and the idea of a package made for them became one of my main goals for this blog.

The Moonflower Writerblr pack was made for writers looking for something elegant and uncomplicated. With user-friendly customization options, a contained layout, and strong typefaces, your words are the focal point. This theme package can be as minimalist—or as maximalist—as you wish. Whether you're sharing updates, writing dissertations in response to anonymous questions, or presenting graphics alongside your projects, Moonflower is for you! I fell absolutely in love with it and adapted it to my needs as an RPC content creator. So it's flexible if you would like to use it for something outside of Writerblr. With that being said, I hope you like it! And good luck with those manuscripts!

Package Features

theme [ contained npf compatible ]

navigation

works in progress

blogroll

Terms + Conditions

please do not redistribute / claim as your own

please do not remove credit

[ reblogs are appreciated ♡ ]

[unsoundedcomic]

I think I sent you an ask a few years back saying that I'd used Unsounded as a case study in my dissertation about webcomics as a medium, and so many years later I'm glad you're still doing this stuff :) I think it'd be a terrible shame if you went for a more standardised layout for book 2, though understandable, because it gives your work such character. Thanks for all that you do!!

The script has two big "musical" numbers in it, with accompanying animations, so this is not the end of such things. Using this stuff is fun! :)

[liongoatsnake]

Website Update and Announcement For Major Project

Our website, The Chimeras Library, has been updated.

Changes include:

An Updated "Symbols Found In The Alterhuman Communities" which now includes the symbols for endels, archetropes, and conceptkin!

An overhauled "A Deeper Look Into Cladotherianthropy."

Added a Spanish translation of  "A Timeline of the Therianthrope Community." Translated by the alterhuman aike.

Added a Spanish translation of "A Timeline of the Fictionkin Community." Translated by the alterhuman aike.

Added a Spanish translation of "A Timeline of the Alterhuman Community." Translated by the alterhuman aike.

Added a Spanish translation of "A Timeline of Plant-Identified People in the Otherkin Communities." Translated by the alterhuman aike.

We're also happy to announce a major project we hope to be sharing in the near future.

The Chimeras Archive.

The Chimeras Archive will consist of an ever updating link to a Zotero account hosting citations for the over 500 items of various media related to the alterhuman community, mentioning alterhumans, or of interest to alerhumanity.

Categories that will be included: academic books, dissertations, journal articles, academic lectures, theses, non-academic books, documentaries, lecture or convention panels, magazine articles, zines, TV broadcasts, newspaper articles, radio broadcasts, podcasts, novels, comics, games, movies, plays, and more.

The Chimeras Archive is an updated version of a project we have been working on for the past decade. We are committed to collecting materials as they relate to alterhuman and sharing their existence with others. This includes not only collecting the citations of these many different kinds of media but also acquiring physical/digital copies of these materials.

Unlike our other projects which have designated versions published in pdf form. Our plan is to instead run a live and updating Zotero listing and a document where the same information will be listed in written form.

As this is a massive overhaul of our existing project, the completion into these two formats is taking a significant amount of time please see our "Academic Publications, Non-Academic Publications, Media, Art, and Fiction Related To Nonhumanity" for the previous rendition of this project in the mean time. We plan on releasing links to our Zotero and the live document in the near future once we have had a chance to better layout the groundwork for them.

[akhuna]

Thank you so much, everyone, you are all amazing, beautiful people. ♥

I started chapter 4 (the last analysis) yesterday, and it's probably the hardest to work on - 15 days maximum to completely rework / edit 60 pages, with TONS of stuff to add and edit in and whatnot. After that, I still have the introduction and the conclusion to write - plus edits and layout and all the other fun stuff...

Please wish me luck! I'll have to hand in my PhD dissertation on the 7th of August! (It feels kinda unreal).

[therentyoupay]

today, i said goodbye to my little baby iphone se 3 💕 YOU SERVED ME WELL, YOU TINY ANCIENT ARTIFACT

i now join the ranks of the 15-ers (because i refused to level up all the way to the 16, i simply SHAN'T) and am delighted by this camera and THE STORAGE SPACE

--

now that the #kriscallicollab CHAOS AND HAZE OF PRODUCTIVITY is settled, i shall also treat myself to a super update to my website, including compiling all of the gorgeous fanart into an organized (per chapter/general) layout with all of the links, credits, and beautiful people who have contributed to this amazing and wonderful and cherished journey 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭💕

--

liv and i offically have a legitimate and intensive google sheet for tracking our writing word counts throughout the rest of october and all of november! i am consistently reminded that i do my best academic writing when i also feed may fanfiction-writing brain, and vice-versa.

now that the final chapter of more than you know is finished and in calli's beta-ing hands (and we are working to finish the final prep for part II of the jelsa video!!!!!! so that this beautiful project shall FINALLY BE FINISHEDDDDD), i actually wrote a bunch last night for snow globe!!

i hope to finish snow globe this month, and then turn to finishing that one night. it will be poetic justice if i finish that story before i defend my dissertation (!!!)

and then i shall finish technical difficulties and at the center and THEN

oR RATHER SIMULTANEOUSLY

i will defend my dissertation on february 28th (!!!), after which point i can complete my non-fiction manuscript for my mainstream book on my research

AND THEN IT SHALL BE TIME TO WRITE MY NOVEL???????

but today (and every day for the rest of october and november), it starts with writing 1,667+ words 💕💕💕💕🤣💪✨

[iknowshocker]

Hooooookay I am reading Hits Different for the first time rn and 😩🤌 I'm literally gnawing at my fists because I'm loving the Parker sibling interactions so much. The twin connections between Jokai and between Luke!Kai and Liv are everything to me. I'm loving your descriptions, from Jokai's conversation at the brink of death, to the layout of their Portland home and Kai's dingy little attic room... Gobbling it all up like a turkey.

I'm dedicating my whole night to reading this. Making a cup of coffee as we speak, bless you for writing my boy Kai so well. Expect more of me screaming in your inbox.

Anyway, onto the ask game: 5, 9, 13, 28!

ahhhh thank you so so much!! <3

if there's one thing i love it's painful family dynamics and i fear we need to look no farther than that tragic af group. i could write a dissertation on the parkers alone. so it was really important to me to explore all of those relationships and give everybody the space to deal with what they went through so that it didn't feel OOC for them to move forward together in the end.

navigating kai's complicated disaster of a mind brings me so much joy, you don't even know. the fact that they cut off his growth in canon disappoints me to this day.

omgggg i can't wait to hear how you like the ending!! <3

ask answers under the cut:

5. What's something you learned while researching this fic? Without spoiling anything, Kai takes the heretics over to France and they go to a town called Lille. my lovely friend @nevereverthem suggested it and helped me figure out to utilize the location. I LOVE using real locations in my work so this was a lot of fun to do!

I'm also always trying to use my knowledge of craft when I can - so any use of magical herbs, holidays, etc. comes from my personal research

9. How did you get into writing fanfiction? I've been a writer my whole life, but the first fic i ever posted was back in 2014 for sasusaku. I had been out of the naruto fandom for a few years but then we were given a weak ass ending and i simply had to fix it lol

I've also written for zutara and dramione, although those works never manage to hold my attention for very long and i end up using them more as exercises in between my own stuff. (but i'm sure you can see i have a type in ship dynamic lmao)

i rewatch tvd s6 every october, and last year the bonkai fixation just came back with a vengeance. I wrote the first draft of my original work last spring and then got swept into writing Hits Different because I wasn't ready to let go of them yet - and now here we are <3

13. Do you have an 'official' creative writing background such as a degree or previous experience publishing? I do! I majored in theatre performance and minored in English and Creative Writing.

I'm currently working on querying my original bonkai work which will (hopefully) be an 8 book fantasy series inspired by bonkai and the parkers.

28. What's the angstiest idea you've ever come up with? Oof, bestie, did you get to chapter 24 yet?

i don't want to spoil anything but i had a lot of fun taking canon events and going: now what if kai and bonnie were in that scene? It was great to prove how easy it would have been to center bonnie/the gemini's in the plots of s7-8 the way they so clearly should have been.

in general a lot of my work both fanon and original deals with grief, childhood trauma and mental health, which is one reason why kai means so much to me as a muse character. i end up working through my own stuff with him (or my kai coded mmc) more than i'd like to admit, lol

thank you so much for stopping by!! <333

[rookamell]

Pure Gale Fluff

Gale/Tav

Ignore the layout of the tower mentioned here I tried to be as vague as possible but it doesnt make any sense🤷‍♀️. Also wizard magic=science rules right? That makes sense?? Does to me so there you go. I headcanon that Arabella Shadowheart and Astarion stay in Waterdeep for at least a few weeks before moving on to wherever they go next

I’m literally on a roll with these lol

The tower was warm against the chill outside when Gale got back from his errands in the city. It smelled of snow outside, and he smiled, happy to be home, at least before the flakes started falling.

Darkness was falling behind the clouds, and Tav had started a fire while he was gone, though she hadn’t closed the curtains, and soft light still filtered in through the windows, illuminating Tara’s curled up form in front of the fireplace, where she was snoring gently.

Tav herself was asleep on the couch in front of that same fire. She had taken it upon herself to slightly rearrange his library room, to make it more “homey” she said. He’d grumbled about it good naturedly, but in that moment he realised he’d let her rearrange anything she wanted if it meant he could come home to her, asleep in front of a fire like she was just then.

It had been… an adjustment, coming back to his tower. What he had thought would be a refuge against the world had turned out to be filled with less than pleasant memories of the time before their adventure.

Then we’ll make new memories, she’d said. New memories like coming home to her sleeping form after a cold day outside.

Golden brown hair spilled over an armrest, and a heavy leather tome was propped against her knees, arms crossed over her chest.

He walked over to her after depositing his packages, and almost reverantly bent down next to the couch. His fingers tangled in that silky golden hair even as he kissed her cheek softly.

She was awake immediately, he knew, because she was the lightest sleeper in the realms, but she kept her eyes closed stubbornly.

He grinned, and this time he kissed those wonderfull lips of hers. She grinned into it, and when he pulled away, stretched awake, almost catlike in her movements.

“Sorry,” she said quietly. “I was reading this horrible dissertation. Can you believe this man thinks that Melf’s third law of evocation is as he put it “a loosely connected string of words with no real meaning behind them”?”

Gale grinned.

“You don’t agree?”

“The third law is the only one that makes any sense to me, if I’m being completely honest.”

She smiled, her wonderful eyes twinkling with delight. Her hand cupped his cheek, callouses scraping over his beard in the most wonderful way.

“A few weeks ago you didn’t know Melf had any laws,” he murmured, grinning as he kissed her again.

“Well, now I do,” she said matter of factly. “And I’ve formed an opinion, based on my sorcerous expertise.”

“Ah,” he said, “of course. Though many powerful mages would agree that your opinion is wrong.”

Her fingers tangled in the hair at the nape of his neck, and she pulled him forward for another kiss.

“I don’t think you know what the word ‘opinion’ means, Gale Dekarios.”

He laughed, and her eyes twinkled in response, and for a moment the breath was knocked out of him. So much so that he had to sit back, away from her.

She frowned, sitting up, all traces of sleep gone from her eyes and demeanor, replaced by a worried frown, a tension that meant she was ready for a fight.

“Gale?” She asked, “What is it?”

What is it?

How could he explain it? How could he explain the feeling of coming home to a tower where a fire was already roaring against the chill outside? How could he explain the sight of his tressym companion curled up asleep without a worry in front of that fire? How could he explain the sight of her, asleep in front of that same fire, the feeling in his chest when he was allowed to kiss her into wakefulness and she did not jump up, scared, because she knew, finally, that she was safe with him? How could he explain the way he had someone to discuss Melf with, after years of just Tara? Someone who would argue back as an equal? How could he ever explain how her laughter felt like a balm to his heart? How could he ever explain exactly what she meant to him? Him, who could normally find words for anything.

“I- uhm,” he grinned slightly, “I don’t know if I could ever verbalise how much it means to have you here. With me.”

Her eyes softened, and she lay her head down on the couch again.

“You’ll find a way, I’m sure,” she said softly, her starlit eyes twinkling.

There was a yawn from the direction of the fireplace, and Tara stretched herself into wakefulness not unlike Tav had done only a few minutes before.

“Ah!” The tressym said, “Mr. Dekarios, thank goodness you’re back! I trust you brought me back some of those wonderful fishes from the market for dinner? I would have gone out earlier to hunt pidgeons, but I’m afraid the fire was much too comfortable.”

He reluctantly broke free of Tav’s soft gaze to turn to his tressym companion.

“Why of course, Tara my dear,” he said, getting up with a groan. His knees really did not agree with the cold.

“Would you like your share now, or would you like to wait while I cook for all three of us?”

“Just the three of us?” Tav asked, rubbing sleep from her eyes.

“Yes, unfortunately,” he replied, walking down to the kitchen.

“Astarion and Arabella are still at the Yawning Portal, Arabella said she would keep him company until sundown. Shadowheart was ‘much too busy with Shieldmeet preparations to have dinner tonight’. So, just the three of us.”

He started charming spices and sauces from various shelves as Tara twisted herself between his legs in her age old ritual of welcome.

“I can’t decide,” Tav’s voice drifted down to him from the library. “Whether Astarion or Arabella is the worse influence.”

She appeared in the doorway, somehow managing to look put together with slightly mussed hair and dressed in one of his old sleep shirts.

“Now that is a question, isn’t it?”

She came up and wrapped her arms around his waist from behind, her cheek resting against his back, and again he had to take a moment and compose himself.

“Personally I think they both bring out the worst in each other, although at least the vampire treats me with dignity when he is here,” Tara spoke up, hopping up onto the counter in front of him.

“Arabella’s still learning, Tara,” Tav said.

“Hmpf. Well. She’ll learn quickly enough why no one else yanks a tressym’s tail if she ever does it again.”

“So, Tara,” Gale said quickly, aware his companion’s temper could flare sometimes. “Fish now, or fish later?”

“I shall wait, Mr. Dekarios. I have manners. Besides, if I eat now I shall most certainly fall asleep, and then how will the two of you entertain yourselves?”

He could picture Tav’s mischievous smile as she said, “Oh, I can think of a few ways.”

He blushed slightly as she kissed the back of his neck, but thankfully, Tara had turned away to inspect the quality of the fish he had bought.

[cazzyf1]

Mon Ami Mate - The Tragic life of Britain's First Formula One World Champion Mike Hawthorn - Essay

If you haven't read my published dissertation on Mike Hawthorn already, check it out with this link. This essay examines what I have written about in-depth, discusses the context, and lists my sources.

Word Count: 3.8k

Estimated Reading Time: 15 minutes

Context: Over a year ago, I needed to come up with an idea about what I wanted to do for my dissertation. I knew that I wanted to write about a classic f1 driver because the history had been my passion for a long time. Still, I knew I couldn't write about Niki Lauda or James Hunt because I already knew so much about them, and I wanted to start not knowing anything so that all the research was a part of my dissertation. I recently brought the book 'Life at the Limit' about Phil Hill and Wolfgang von Trips, but it features Mike Hawthorn. I decided to look more into him, curious to learn about Britain's first world champion. After learning about how tragic his life was, I knew I wanted to know more about him and write it for my dissertation. As I study creative & professional writing, I decided to write my actual dissertation as if it were a story to make use of my creative writing skills. This makes it easier for the audience to read - but I decided to write this essay as well, giving context to what I have written and some more information for those wanting to know more about Mike.

The dissertation starts directly after the Le Mans 55 incident took place. As Mike Hawthorn was in front of it, he only glimpsed what had happened, and it would still be a while after the accident that it was known just how many people had been injured and killed. I wanted to show Mike's confusion and panic, knowing something bad had happened that he had been involved in but not knowing how bad, by starting off directly in the chaos. In terms of the actual crash, my views are that the main fault was down to the Le Man's layout, which did not accommodate space for the drivers, especially when they needed to come into the pits; however, Mike did make the mistake in trying to get ahead of Fangio and come into the pits early, and Lance Macklin made the mistake of only starting to break last minute and not checking to swerve out into the path of Levegh. However, all of this could have been prevented if there had been more consideration and care for public safety alongside the tracks, which sadly would not have become a priority for a long time in the racing industry.

'Wasn't this the jaguar pit? No. Where was he?' - When Mike first came into the pits, he didn't pull into his section in the panic, though he had left the car. Therefore, he was made to complete another lap for his team not to be disqualified, meaning he would have had to drive past the accident again. 'He tasted bitter in his mouth as he remembered last night when they had a drink.'- in the book 'Mon Ami Mate' it says that the drivers, including Mike and Levegh, had been drinking the night before together and that Levegh had complained about the track not being wide enough to support the cars.

'Lofty glanced around and saw Duncan Hamilton approaching, who had swapped with his teammate a few laps before.' - Duncan Hamilton was one of Mike Hawthorn's closest friends, and they both raced for the Jaguar team at Le Mans, though not as teammates. Duncan had been waving to some people across the track in the pits as he waited to switch with his teammate when the crash happened. Mike was in a state of panic, traumatised, and so Duncan pulled Mike to the side and, as Mike says, 'spoke to him like a father' to try and calm Mike down. There has been some confusion about exactly who Mike had spoken to as accounts ranged from Duncan to Rob Walker, so when I contacted an expert on Mike, Nigel Webb, I was able to find out that Mike spoke to Duncan first, then found Lance Macklin and apologised to him crying (this I cut from my dissertation) before then walking around to the back of the pits to hide in Rob Walker caravan.

Parts I cut out from my dissertation that happened was that mechanics from other teams, including the Mercedes team, went and found Mike and told him it wasn't his fault. Even drivers, such as Stirling Moss, went and found Mike to talk to him and tell him it wasn't his fault (the newspapers said Stirling softly reassured Mike). After Mike had apologised to Lance Macklin and ended up in Rob Walker's caravan, it's alleged in a newspaper report I read that a commentator on the loudspeaker was saying it was all Mike's fault and blaming him, which Mike would have been able to hear from the caravan.

Context - the race was not stopped because it was believed that if the race stopped, the ambulances wouldn't be able to reach the patients with all the crowds leaving the tracks, so the race carried on as usual while the ambulances treated people and took the bodies away.

“Now, would you truly do that to your father, Mike? He gave everything for you to be a racing driver. He may not be around to see you win, but you would make him proud. You can’t give up now.” - A year and a few days before the 1955 crash, in 1954, Mike's dad had died in a car crash coming back from Goodwood. Mike was in Paris travelling to race in Le Mans. This would have been his first race in a while as he had been in hospital recovering from severe burns to his legs. However, while he was travelling to Le Mans, he got news of the crash and desperately tried to get back home to his dad, but his dad died before Mike could get back. This might explain why it was important for Mike to do well in this race after what happened last year.

“I’m not going to drive again, Lofty,” Mike said, avoiding eye contact. Nevertheless, Lofty’s eyebrows furrowed, and his jaw clenched. - After Mike's father had died, Lofty England became a father figure to Mike. Lofty said himself that he viewed Mike like a son. They were very close, so Mike would naturally listen to what Lofty told him. And Lofty's opinion was that Mike needed to continue racing to distract his mind. So Mike listened to him and continued racing, although he had said before that he wouldn't continue.

'Mike looked over to the BBC TV interviewer, Rudolf Whlenhaunt and nodded.' - In the book mon ami mate, it is mentioned that Mike Hawthorn had an interview with the BBC and this interviewer about the Le Mans incident. However, no record of this interview is out on the Internet so I had to imagine what might have been said for this scene.

“You’ve been quite controversial in the newspapers as of late, Mike; many of our British civilians aren’t happy at you avoiding your national service. What do you have to say about that?” - Mike had been under scrutiny by the public, press and even the House of Commons the last few years because he had not done his national service. National service was completing a certain amount of time in the forces as part of your duty. The press had discovered Mike hadn't done this yet and felt that Mike was trying to get out of it and so lead a big campaign against him. Mike Hawthorn had filled out an application to apply for the RAF, but when his chronic kidney issues were discovered, and one had to be taken out, he was disqualified from national service. If his chronic illness was made public, Mike risked not being allowed to race anymore. So he made sure it wasn't public knowledge, which meant he had to bear the burden of the public, thinking he was skipping his national service instead of knowing the actual reason.

“It’s true that a policeman came to your door on the day of your father’s funeral, isn’t it?” - Mike Hawthorn often had a habit of speeding when driving around on normal roads and would get fines that he paid off. On the day of his father's funeral, there was a big fuss in the newspaper about his national service, and a police officer came knocking at Mike's door about paying speeding fines. To which Mike slammed the door in his face.

“The Germans and French want to blame me!" - In the aftermath of Le Mans there was a lot of blame placed on Mike, especially from Germany and France. Germany because it was a Mercedes driver that had been killed and then subsequently Mercedes pulled out of motorsports, and France because it's where Le Mans is.

“If I was to die in an accident, would you identify my body?” he asked quietly, glancing at Duncan.' - This was an actual pact that Mike and Duncan made. Mike's mother hated anything to do with motorsports especially after his dad had died so Mike wanted to make sure she didn't have to identity his body if he did die racing, and Duncan had similar views with his own mother.

'Next to Peter, sulking in his seat with crossed arms, was Luigi Musso, the only Italian Ferrari driver currently on the team.' - I originally also had Phil Hill and Wolfgang von Trips involved in this meeting, but in the end cut it down to Peter and Luigi just being there. I wanted to address Mike's issues with Germans and how that ultimately lead to his death, and use his friendship with Wolfgang von Trips as a key point in it, but unfortunately I didn't have enough of a word count to go into this so I had to cut them out. I had to include Luigi though but unfortunately I couldn't write as much about him as I wanted to because of the word count so he only has a really small part in the dissertation.

“Do wish your mother well on mine and Louise’s behalf, won’t you? We have meant to come down to visit her and the garage.” - Some fans of Mike and Peter try to claim that they weren't as close as people make them out to be simply because there was no record of Peter ever visiting Mike's garage. But personally, I see that simply as they were both busy people who didn't have lots of time outside of f1 and with time, Peter definitely would have visited and spent time with Mike if they had lived.

“She’ll be happy with that, yet frankly, I think she finds running the garage tough without father, even with Bill’s help. Though I’ve been considering moving to a cottage nearby with Jean when I propose to her.” - Bill was one of the main workers of the garage who helped run it after Mike's father died and then after Mike had died. Throughout Mike's adulthood, he still lived at home with his mum at their cottage. He had viewed a cottage he planned to buy near his mum's place and the garage, which was a place for him to settle with his fiance. Sadly, they would never get this place, much like Peter and Louise, with the house they planned to buy.

“Not all of us can charm him into accepting us as family,” Luigi added, his eyes fixated on Peter, who frowned.' - Peter Collins became good friends with Enzo Ferrari's dying son, Dino Ferrari. When Dino passed away, Enzo started focusing his fatherly affections on Peter. However, when Peter quickly married Louise, it was said Enzo wasn't happy, seeing it as distracting Peter.

'Louise Collins was an American actress comparable to Marilyn Monroe.' - Louise did actually meet Marilyn Monroe.

“I’ve just run him a bath; he’ll be getting in in a few minutes,” Louise said, watching Mike with surprise as he walked past her and into the bathroom.' This didn't happen in 1958, but in 1957, there was another friend in the bathroom as well as Mike and Peter, but I included this part in 1958 between just Mike and Peter to build up their friendship.

'Farnham was Mike’s home, and his favourite pub in the area was ‘The Barley Mow’.' - This pub I have visited before, and it has photographs of Mike Hawthorn up on its walls. My dissertation tutor suggested that I write about Mike being confronted by a member of the public to show the general attitude, which is where this scene comes from.

'Yet Mike felt frozen as he stared at the now blood-tinted urinal.' - As Mike’s chronic illness got worse, so did his symptoms. Blood in urine would have started becoming common for Mike, along with a large stabbing pain where his kidney is. Some days were worse than others for Mike Hawthorn. During the 1958 British GP, they weren't sure if Mike could race as he was in much pain. Occasionally, his housekeeper would find Mike lying on the floor in pain, unable to move. He also started developing a moon face condition where his cheeks swell up. His doctor predicted that at the time of Mike's death, he only had four years of life left and, near the end, would have been wheelchair-bound.

“I can’t; she might bring him around here again. She did last year,” Mike muttered.' - a few years previously, in 1953, Mike had a one-night stand with a lady after he had won the French GP. He didn't think of anything till later when he got a letter from her saying that she was pregnant with his child. Mike found it hard to believe as it was one time and felt that it was someone trying to scam him. However, in 1957, at the French GP, he suddenly spotted a child dressed in white trousers and a green jacket with bright blonde hair just like his. She had dressed the kid up just like him so Mike would see. Mike met up with her and the boy and agreed to help pay child support for him, but Mike wasn't heavily involved with the boy. In the 90s, Chris Nixon, the author of Mon Ami Mate, was able to track down Mike's son, Arnaud Michael Delaunay, and talk to him. For a little while, Arnaud had some involvement in the scene, turning up to events, but eventually, he decided he didn't want to anymore, and other fans of Mike have tried to get in contact with him but haven't been successful.

“Of course, mon ami mate. You don’t need to ask. It’s our deal, and it will stay our deal,” - Mike and Peter did have a deal at some races to put their money together to share. People claim that Luigi Musso felt quite alienated from the team, as he wasn't involved in this.

“I’m sorry, but we can’t. We need the money as much as you do,” Mike told Luigi, with Peter slowly nodding.' - Luigi had asked them to help with money because he owed a lot of money in debt and had been rumored if he didn't get the money from this race he would be in trouble, but Mike also needed the money to put towards the child support. The French GP had one of the highest money prizes for first place so lots of drivers wanted that spot.

'When they reached the hospital, Ferrari team leader Romolo Tavoni was outside. His eyes were red and puffy, and in a flat voice, he told them that Luigi Musso had died.' - It was actually a friend who told them Luigi had died because when Romolo found out, he fainted and so was put in a hospital bed. I didn't have the word count to include this next bit, but Afterwards, Mike and Peter went back to the hotel, and eventually, someone suggested they go out and celebrate Mike's win instead of sitting around feeling depressed about Luigi, though they were all affected by his death. Luigi's girlfriend got back from the hospital and saw Mike and Peter kicking a can around like a football; she felt lots of rage, thinking they didn't care, and spat curses at them. This, therefore, created an impression that Mike and Peter never cared for Luigi, which wasn't the case; they just weren't as close to him as they were to each other, and sometimes their British humour in teasing could come off as rude.

'Mike, Peter, and Louise were relaxing in a hotel room.' - Mike often would wander into Peter and Louise’s hotel room and spend the day with them at the races. His partner Jean was often away modelling, and his mother never went to the races, so unless his friends from home were visiting, he'd either be with Peter and Louise or hanging out with other friends from the track, usually at a pub or nightclub.

‘He is the one that won’t die,’ Mike thought as he observed Peter's peaceful appearance.' - Mike wrote in his autobiography that on the day Peter had passed away, Mike had gone into Peter's room, looked at him, then thought that, then accidentally woke Peter up.

'A few other drivers came in and out, offering help to Peter on his puzzle, but he turned them all down. He was determined to finish this himself.' - Mike says in his book Peter was working on the puzzle all morning, and Mike remarks that he was happy Peter was able to finish it before he passed away.

'Mike ran over to the marshalls desperately' - It took a while for the news to come through, in that time, some german offered Mike some orange juice and tried to calm him down. There was a lot of confusion about what had happened.

'Travoni was doing his best to comfort Louise' - When Louise arrived at the hospital, a phone call from her dad was waiting for her. With his connections, he could find out first that Peter had died, and he wanted to be the one to break the news to Louise. Louise went to see the body but all she could manage was seeing the feet sticking out from under the sheet before she had to leave.

'Mike was vaguely aware Tavoni was watching him.' - Mon Ami Mate reveals that Tavoni saw Mike collapse on the wall and slide to the ground after seeing Peter.

'But the journalists had been waiting for a moment to pounce' - The interview with Mike talking about the crash and Peter is from this moment, where he had to give an interview at the airport before taking Louise to Peter's parents. I used parts of that interview and made up some of my own parts as the full interview is not available on the internet.

'"Dam silly of me" He muttered' - In the book, mon ami mate, it states that Mike said this and started breaking down as he spoke, having to use a handkerchief to rub the tears away.

'Like Peter, Stirling was a gentleman' - At one point, Mike had spun out and tried to push the car back onto the track but was pushing it the wrong way. As Stirling was driving past, he saw and shouted at Mike to go the other way so he could get back on track. Later on, Mike was called in by the stewards and was going to be disqualified because they thought he had left the track and cheated by going a different route to get back on, but Stirling went to the meeting and explained that Mike had done the right thing. If Stirling hadn't done this, he would have been the world champion, but Stirling never regretted this because he saw it was the sportsman thing to do to explain Mike was in the right.

'A telegram to Miss Louise Collins' - By this point Louise was in America performing in a play. She needed to do something to distract herself from what had happened. When I went around the Peter Collins exhibit, I saw Mike's telegram and knew I had to include it in my dissertation.

'Mike felt awful. He had woken up in a sweat' - His housekeeper said on the day of his death, Mike had been lying on the floor in pain from his kidney. It was one of his bad days.

'He had told Louise he would drive up to London to see her' - This wasn't the only reason he was going to London that day. He had plans to meet Louise and chat with her, but he was also going to London to sort out financial support for his son as he had plans to marry his fiance and needed to sort out arrangements for his illegitimate son.

'Mike stopped into one of his main pub's and found Duncan Hamilton sitting at a bar' - Mike didn't actually see Duncan in the morning but he had plans to see Duncan later on in the day. But Duncan was in a pub nearby where the crash happened. So he found out quickly, got to the site just after Mike's body had left. He grabbed a few belongings, such as Mike's flat cap from the crash and then went to the hospital to identify Mike's body as he had promised Mike. He described it as one of the hardest days of his life. Duncan Hamilton retired from racing right after.

'I will show him the Jaguar, which is clearly the better car' - When Mike's death was first reported, Rob Walker denied they were racing. He had to go to court and say they were not racing. There was a lot of speculation on why Mike crashed for a long time. To this day, Mike's fiance believes he had a blackout, and so does Mike Hawthorn expert Nigel Webb. There were other theories put out that the rain caused him to spin or even that someone had assassinated him with a rifle. A long time later, Rob Walker did come out and say that they had been racing, but he had been told to deny it to protect himself. A worker who saw Mike leave a pub right before the crash says Mike was running out to race Rob when he saw the Mercedes. So I chose to mix the two most believable theories for his crash, that he was racing Rob Walker but had a blackout during it, which caused Mike to crash.

Books I read for information:

Challenge me the race - Mike Hawthorn

Champion Year - Mike Hawthorn

The Limit: Life and Death on the 1961 Grand Prix Circuit - Michael Cannell

One Glorious Hour - Don Shaw

Mike Hawthorn: Golden Boy - Paul Skilleter & Tony Bailey

Mon Ami Mate - Chris Nixon

Touch Wood - The Autobiography of the 1953 Le Mans Winner - Duncan Hamilton & Chris Evans

Peter Collins: All about the boy - Ed McDonough

Also, see the Mike Hawthorn tribute website for lots of information

If you have questions about Mike Hawthorn, my dissertation or just want to know more, send me an ask, and I'll get back to you! <3

[wutheringheightsfilm]

5, 10, 22, 31 !! :3

5. What’s something you learned while researching a fic?

While writing Odd Geometry I've learned lots! I think my favorite bit though so far has been looking up different architectural schematics for Beijing (I was using the layout of some of the city walls as inspiration for the siege at Hejian coming in chapter 12) and that was super fascinating.

10. Is there a character or ship you'd love to write for, but haven't yet?

I saw @llycaons blogging about jiang yanli/qin su recently and I found that really interesting, but there's also mianqing... I want to write a fic centered around women! But who knows if I'll ever get around to it. There's also the BBC Merlin story rewrite I want to do, and have actually outlined, but just haven't written. Who knows. I do have an actual dissertation I'll need to be writing so...

22. Did you do anything special to celebrate finishing a fic?

Well when I finish odd geometry I'll let you know! Aside from one shots, I've never finished a fic before. LMAO

31. What fic meant the most to you to write?

This question is honestly two fold... because there is a set of stories my friend @robertwalton and I write together that is technically fanfic, but it's also technically not... (if we just changed the names of the characters it wouldn't be fanfic at all, it's completely unrecognizable from their original properties) and getting to write within that universe has been so special to me... but Odd Geometry also has meant so so much because it's been such a collaborative effort and it's been coming together so beautifully.

thank u jana ily 🩷

[mpchev]

Update on fanbinding dissertation: typesetting and print test!

The fics have been picked (from ao3), the author has been contacted (on tumblr), the typeset is almost done (in libreoffice, following along some gdocs shared on the @renegadeguild discord) — call me a romantic, but the amount of fan-created tools and online community spaces is making me emotional.

Here are the thoughts (could almost call them fieldnotes, look at me go):

I really enjoyed the typesetting! I kept pulling out traditionally published books from my shelf to measure margins, compare font sizes, check out page layouts. Had one technical issue, asked about it on the Renegade Bindery’s Discord, had a solution twelve minutes later. <3

I then created a SFW version, just one-signature long, for print test purposes. Changing the text was mostly to avoid sending and e-rated fic to the wrong university printer while I was figuring out how to use the printing queue, but I’m so glad I now have a physical thing to show to people without content warnings.

As it was bound to happen (bound, hehe), pages were printed all wrong, so I spent an hour trying to figure out if it was the imposition tool or the printer who hated me (turns out the printer check box ‘flip on short edge’ is a very important check box), but finally got it! Big shout out to the department’s guillotine, my new best friend.

Brought everything home, created a punching guide out of an old postcard, punched the pages with dollar store needles (was debating getting an awl, will be getting an awl) on top of an old notebook (can’t go damaging student accommodation furniture now can we), and sewed it up with embroidery floss (which I unravelled to use fewer strands). I plan on getting actual supplies for the non-lorem-ipsum book, but very happy with the test signatures!

So. Typesetting and sewing: very very fun. Imposing: also fun, like a 24-piece 3D puzzle. Printers: the one bit of technology I might never truly understand.

Next up, actually finishing the typeset, getting those supplies, and, in true fandom fashion, printing smut at school.

[swaps55]

About (writing) Horizon

@painterofhorizons asked me to go into more detail about this post, in which I whinged about the logistical complexities I was running into while drafting Horizon for Mezzo. I proceeded to write a dissertation on the topic, so here is my Ted Talk for anyone who has some time to kill. I kept it as spoiler free as possible. :D

Not surprisingly, I’ve got a number of challenges to deal with to get this scene to have the emotional impact I want it to have, but the one I referenced in that post has mostly to do with what I refer to as setting the chess board. It’s something I do for combat scenes, or scenes where the setting plays any kind of important role in understanding where characters are in relation to one another, or when I just have too many characters in one place. Ideally, before I write the scene, I lay out in my head: what does the setting look like, and who is where?

For fight scenes, this is important so I understand what combat will look like, and so I won’t lose track of anyone during the scene. How many enemies are there? Who is taking on who? What limitations or advantages does the setting provide to influence the action? How can I use that to provide characterization or advance a character arc? Etc. In the case of Horizon, the issue isn’t the combat: it’s understanding where people start and how they get from one place to another.

Here’s the challenge: I have 3, and eventually 4 groups of people or person. Let’s call them A, B, C, and D.

A and B are in very separate locations.

C joins the fray in a 3rd location that cannot be near A or B.

A, B, and C are all aiming to reach the same location: the AA gun.

C cannot encounter A or B, which means A & B must reach the AA gun via different routes than C.  

D separates off from C, and must encounter B but not A.

C needs to arrive first, then B, then A, then D.

Simple, right? D:

So instead of the chess board dictating the flow of action, I need to set the chess board in a way to facilitate the scene as I need it to play out. This means the basic layout from the game isn’t sufficient, because it’s too linear, and provides only 1 “entrance” to the area where the AA gun are, and I need two different routes to get there.

Now, am I going to waste a lot of time painstakingly explaining to the reader the layout of Horizon? No. That’s boring, and the reader doesn’t need it. But I need to know it well enough and establish it well enough that even if the reader isn’t backchecking my logic, they trust that I have not dragged them into an MC Escher painting. I don’t want people to stop and wonder, “wait, where the fuck did B come from?” in the middle of a high stakes, high adrenaline scene.

The other logistical issue I have is a very clumsy POV handoff. I do not like putting in a scene break just to switch POVs and continue the exact same scene you were just in, but there is a crucial moment where a POV handoff has to happen as a new character arrives on scene and takes over POV duties from someone who is already present. My options are:

Do the entire scene from the first POV and don’t switch. But this would completely alter the impact of the scene and shut me out of accessing some pretty critical information that only the new POV character will have.

Do the thing I don’t like: put a scene break in the middle of the scene, end the first ‘scene’ on a dramatic moment that feels like the close of a scene before jumping back in with the new character.

Do the scene break, but back up a few minutes before the new POV character arrives on scene. This does two helpful things: creates a fresh scene and minimizes the awkward handoff, while giving me a chance to fill in some of the logistics to avoid the, “where the fuck did this person come from??” problem. Because while I know where they come from, there isn’t a good opportunity for me to communicate it to the reader otherwise. Originally this is what I planned to go with, but when I got there, I changed my mind. The problem with this is that it kills the tension and feels like a bait and switch: get the reader to the moment they have been waiting for, then pull the rug and back up a few steps. The last thing I want in this chapter is for the reader to be frustrated by the way I am telling the story.

End the chapter on the POV switch and move the Big Moment to a new chapter. I don’t love this either, because it feels like a cliffhanger for the sake of a cliffhanger – if not for the POV shift, it wouldn’t occur to me to break the chapter here. While I do love it when people yell at me for things, getting yelled at for this particular cliffhanger would feel cheap and manipulative rather than earned, if that makes any sense.   

Option 2 is best for the story, but it leaves me with this clumsy POV handoff that I still don’t like.

Now, on top of all the logistical complexities, I still have the other layers of this chapter: the sheer emotional complexity of it, which causes additional logistical issues. This is some of what I am trying to juggle:

Convey scene setting through the eyes of characters who are not paying a lick of attention to their surroundings because they are preoccupied or distressed by other events.

Telegraph Sam’s distress and anxiety through the eyes of someone who does not have enough context for it. This is further complicated by it being very likely this character would have more context than I would prefer them to have, so now I have to work with that in a way that feels right for the character and right for the story. Too often, supporting characters get shoehorned into plot in ways that does them a disservice, so I try to take the approach that the POV character is now the main character in THEIR story. My job is to get their priorities and motivations to circle back and support the plot while also serving their own interests. Sometimes this is very hard.   

Portray Kaidan, a character known for thinking things through, as someone being extremely (and understandably) reactive in a high stakes and very personal moment while still feeling like Kaidan. He cannot be thinking straight, and he would not be thinking straight, but I have to sell that to the reader and make them believe it.

Not losing track of every other character in the scene,while also not having them interrupt the flow of the scene. If you are familiar with Arrested Development, imagine the scenes in which the camera focuses on two characters having a VERY private discussion, only to zoom out and reveal they are surrounded by a much larger, captive audience. That keeps happening in this scene, ha. These characters are not the focus of the scene, but they are still present, and therefore the reader needs to be aware of where they are and what they’re doing so they don’t seem to magically appear out of thin air when they do or say something.    

So how do I put all of these pieces together? Well, it’s still in progress, so I don’t have a success story yet, but the emotional thumbtacks come first. The whole point of the scene is something I have been dying to write for years. All the details and logistics that ultimately make it work are just in the way when all I can think about is the Big Confrontation, so I just spit it out, even if it’s mostly just broad strokes, because once it’s out there I can actually think about the rest. Now I can go back through and chip away at the logistics, create a deeper and richer narrative for the POV characters, turn the volume up on the side characters who play a smaller role, and sharpen the knives so those emotional moments really land in a meaningful, gut wrenching way. Doing all of this will inevitably reshape the manner in which some of these events unfold, because drilling deeper into characters often leads to new discoveries. But I can rewire the underlying skeleton when the skeleton at least exists.

The hope is that in the end, it reads like the whole thing was effortless, and you would never guess how much work and angst and handwringing went into writing it unless you read this post. Wish me luck!!!!! I need it.   

[dawnrider]

Woohooooo congratulations on 20 years of writing!!! ✧˖° ദ്ദി ˉ͈̀꒳ˉ͈́ )✧ I'm following A Silent Affair and can't wait for the next chapter (I'm millimillenary on AO3, I’ve commented a couple times, you know I'm loving it!!)!

I know you originally published the story a while back so I thought I'd ask (as someone who hasn’t read it before), what are some of the changes you make as you repost it? Are they all minor edits or is there anything a bit more substancial you'd like to change?

As for your other works, as time goes by, do you look at them any differently? I look at fics I've written 2-3 months ago and think "god, I should've done this completely different", focusing way more on editing than I do on the story layout, which is why they stay as WIPs and never get posted (҂ ꒦ິヮ꒦ິ) Any advice on how to break the never-ending editing cycle?

You are an inspiration! I hope one day I get to celebrate the same milestone as you are. Your writing makes me feel all the feels and I can’t thank you enough for that! 💕💕💕

Hello @heikeee!

For A Silent Affair, it's mostly been edits to the punctuation, a little bit to the formatting, and a few changes to sentence structures. And removing more than a few epithets. The plot has remained the same, though I added in a few more details about the world they exist in.

As to your question, I'm 💯a pantser. I don't plot out stories or make outlines. This has it's pros and cons, so I'm not saying one way is better than another. What I will say, is that I don't let myself edit too much. I look for typos, I read through for sentence structures and possibly add details, but for the most part, I play 52 card pick up: Throw everything down and see where they end up. I write out of order, I write scenes as I imagine them, and then I patchwork quilt them together later.

All that to say: Sometimes you just gotta let it go. If posting is your goal? Just do it. Rip the bandaid off, so to speak. The joke is that the fastest way to find any errors/typos is to post the chapter. 😂 But really, it doesn't matter. Don't worry about it being perfect. It's fanfiction, not your dissertation.

I'm sure you've heard it before but... THIS IS MEANT TO BE FUN.

I cannot emphasize that enough.

So have fun. Sometimes it's hard work. Sometimes it's frustrating. But ultimately, if you're not enjoying it, what's the point?